Bloarzeyd
Delirious Insane Ventilator of Bloarzeyd
Woodenman Records
By Jose Fritz
Bloarzeyd is the heaviest band that ever reminded me of Dr. Suess. The Doctor once wrote "Always do what you want, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” In short, they are a band following nothing but the random animalistic urges of their libido, and desire for hard liquor.
They also use more exclamation marks than any other band I’ve ever heard. In writing any communiqué, no sentence can end with anything less than a dozen exclamation marks and it really fits. I imagine them screaming and shrieking every syllable of every word, even screaming the ideas inside their own pointy heads.
This fits right in with the music. Mike and Phil are two loud obnoxious bastards writing very exclamatory music. Their brand of absurdist sludge-tech exits their brain directly into their instruments, with the band exhibiting no façade.
The comparisons to Godheadsilo and Unsane are equally valid, but Bloarzeyd never gets that intellectually expressing your inner angst sashaying urge of no wave. But that’d be a low limbo bar to slip under even if you were already in a noise rock band and drunk in Brooklyn in the late eighties. It’s been a decade and while the street drugs are more expensive bad booze is cheaper. Let me say it now: Very angry drunk men can do very great things if given guitars.
But it was Abraham Lincoln who said it best: "If we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice. The demon of intemperance ever seems to have delighted in sucking the blood of genius and generosity." In other words, they’re a bunch of drunks.
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